Ugly Americans

 Once a month, we would clamber into the family car and drive into Dade to visit our grandmother. She lived in a condo on Miami Beach, nestled close to what would eventually become (nowadays) ground zero for celebrities and wannabe celebrities in South Florida- South Beach. But in 1980, it was as far from trendy as you could imagine.  A place of dilapidated art deco apartment buildings filled with the elderly and those new to the States, slowly dying antique shops, bodegas, and the occasional tourist trap filled with everything you could stick a shell to. It was the opposite of the 80s suburban landscape of one story single family homes my parents had bought into in Broward.  It was an adventure.  These trips were relegated to once a month,  on a weekend , because we lived in Broward and my dad was  a very busy man™ . Each visit would follow a pattern. Drive down in the morning when the highway was less crowded and parking was guaranteed. Climb the ...

Let me help you. I know you can do it on your own. But there's a traveling tangle that won't leave your hair alone. This traveling tangle's pesky it weaves itself into knots defying the detangler and running down the clock. As you can see he's tricky and the brush can miss some spots when there's a tangle entanglement the battles can hurt a lot. I know this tangle's travels have made you pretty cross Having seen the path he takes I can say he might be lost Let me help you. I know you can do it on your own. But there's a traveling tangle that won't leave your hair alone. This troublesome tangle is stubborn and doesn't want to budge it's going to take convincing 'cause I think he has a grudge Let me help you. I know you can do it on your own. But there's a traveling tangle that won't leave your hair alone. Now I know your patience is failing and the time spent wrangling a cost But i'm done an...

 Last October, we purchased the Florida resident passes to Disney, and had gone a few times but wanted to squeeze in at least one or two more visits before they expired. In May, we had a plan to take a vacation after the kids went back to school, over Labor Day weekend. In my never ending search to get the cheapest price for a room at the resort, I booked it via Expedia because they had cheaper room rates. The last time we went, I also booked a room with Expedia. On that occasion, it was very last minute, so when we got to the park and they told us we were unable to purchase the dining plan, we just sucked it up.  Now, I knew this vacation was coming up, but life has been busy for the last few months. So I left the setting up of dining plans and fast passes and whatnot as a last-minute task. For those of you who are unaware, we had a Tropical Storm that (as of this writing) is going to be a Category 1 Hurricane. I also was unaware that tomorrow is the opening of th...

 Once upon a time, long ago in Miami's past, a rich family decided to donate land on Key Biscayne in order to secure the construction of a bridge that would ultimately increase the property values of their other properties on said key. Whether you believe the donation was philanthropic or not, we know for a fact that in 1940, the heirs of Commodore William John Matheson donated 808.8 acres of their holdings on Key Biscayne to Dade County. This donation came with a condition- that the land be used as a public park.   In exchange for that donation, the chairman of the County Commission Charles H. Crandon offered to build a causeway that would connect Key Biscayne to the mainland. This agreement came to fruition on November 9, 1947 when the Rickenbacker¹ causeway opened, allowing automobile access to Virginia Key, Crandon Park and the rest of Key Biscayne.  One year later in 1948, a traveling animal show broke down or (most likely) became defunct when it visit...

 Once upon a time, long ago in Old Florida , there was a man named Robert Hoyt.  Mr. Hoyt was a horticulturalist in Clearwater. He was also an organizing member of the Florida State Horticultural Society . That might seem dull to you, but I assure you that reading about the Wild Wild West of Horticulture in 1880s Florida is far from dull.* But I digress. Mr. Hoyt, in true Florida fashion, went on a trip to India and brought back with him two Bombax ceiba  seedlings. Of the two, one survived, and he planted it across from his orange grove. Over time, the tree grew massive and became a curiosity that tourists visited in the 1940s.   In the 1950's, a tourist from Maryland named Richard B. Baumgardner visited Clearwater with his family. Seeing how popular the tree was, he decided to purchase the land it was on (and the orchard) to build a 'destination restaurant' called The Kapok Tree Inn. It was as ostentatious, opulent, and gaudy as a restaurant-tourist trap i...

“There are no mistakes, only happy accidents.”   ―  Bob Ross            A little over seven months into our time here, we have finally established our daily patterns in order to ensure successful* days. Things are as scheduled and orderly as you can make them when dealing with two very willful children. South Florida is a loud, colorful, hectic mess. But we're ok with that.  At least I think we are!  As mentioned in an earlier post , the kids overall attitude keeps getting better, not worse. I see in them now a level of happiness which was more than my pessimistic little heart dared to hope for  after their run in with Cumbres. Things are still a work in progress (that I accept will be never ending) but they are both doing so well .  I only have to look at their art wall to know that.   Our oldest's school is really working with her (and us) as we navigate through  ESE  in Florida. We...

 Time is a constant you grow acutely aware of as the years go by.   Its passage feels more pronounced the longer you are out as an expat, or (for those who move away from their hometowns to later return) when you return  home . It has been busy these last three months. I have been quieter more than I wanted to be, because of the relentless pace our life has taken since returning to Florida.   As is our tradition, we had a welcome back/return party about a month after arrival. We invited everyone, and we had more people show than we expected. I don't know if it was because we are not staying 'just a month', like we would for home leave... if it was because of the current political climate, or if time had a hand in prompting people to show up. So it was with our party. There were a ton of people there, that I had not seen in some time. It was the best hail to post I think we have ever had in our FSLife.   I have been sending out actual, real, honest-to-...

I know it's hard. It's hard to like the difficult ones. Their minds and eyes wander from the page. Accidentally, of course. Like glitter slime in a colander their minds avoid capture by escaping through the holes. A picture on the wall. The actions of another child. Anything. Anything except the words on the page. The number problems hidden in sentences. Se quenc ing Their day is a rebellious day. Red like a warning light. red Red RED Sometimes yellow. Rarely green. I know it's easy. It's effortless to like the easy ones. The ones that can focus. Like lasers. Minds and eyes remain on the page. Little to no back talking to be found. Instructions almost always followed. They are on point. It is easier to laugh when they make a mistake. Smiles are more plentiful, as are chances. Their day is a green day. Green like a summer day. green Green GREEN Sometimes yellow. Rarely red. I know. I know...

  Months ago, when my kids were still going to Spanish class here, I ran into another expat mom. She was a new arrival to the area, having recently moved to Mérida. While the kids were in class, we chatted about a life traveling with kids, finding your people in your new home, and making a life for yourself amidst all of it. In the course of our chat she told me the story about how she found out her family would be moving to Mérida.   Apparently, they had lived in the same place for seven years, and she'd left a picture from their initial move wrapped all that time. In her mind, as long as that last picture never got unwrapped and hung, they would never leave. For seven years, that picture stayed wrapped up, and tucked in its corner.   So, imagine her shock at seeing it on the wall after a handyman she'd hired to fix something else in the house, completed the task he was hired for then  also unwrapped the picture and hung it up. That same nigh...

We are leaving Mérida. I am going to miss Mérida.   I know that statement seems at odds with my previous writings, but I will miss the city and its people. After almost a year here, my Spanish (which had withered from years of neglect) has improved dramatically. I have made acquaintances (both expat and locals) that could have probably become full-fledged friends had we stayed here the full three years. One of them might still become a long-term friend, but we'll see. You come to accept that friendships made in this life are what you put into them. Sometimes, this ends up being a one-way street despite your best intentions.   My plan of visiting as many archaeological sites in the region is pretty much at its end. I would like to visit at least one more site, but realistically I probably won't. We've just run out of time. It turns out that you can only squeeze so many sites in between work, school, people getting sick, poor weather, and any other roadblock life...

  In the hills an hour south of Merida, past the edge of the  Chicxulub crater , sits Uxmal.  Uxmal was a Mayan trade center from the Late to Terminal Classic period with about 20k residents at its height. It is an excellent example of the Puuc architectural style, and the pinnacle of late Mayan art. As it grew from a small town to a major center in the region,  sacbe  were built, radiating out to nearby settlements (the sacbe linking Uxmal to Kabah is still standing) and other large sites like Chichén Itzá. Even after it was abandoned, it was still visited as a pilgrimage site until the Spanish conquest in the 1400s. Due to its location in the hills, it remained well-preserved. It officially became a  UNESCO World Heritage site in 1996. The site has a number of well-preserved buildings and carvings, even before its restoration. If you visit, the first building you'll see after climbing up the steps is the Pyramid of the Magician (the f...

  There were massive tropical storms. The children, reared in lands where rainstorms are subdued things, were amazed. They didn't know when the car arrived, that they would be flying away. Like little lightning rods catching the charge of familial anxiety, they wavered between anxiousness and calm.  I didn't understand it before, but I do now- the need to leave post, if only for a little while. The change was a welcome reprieve, but we're back at post again. Just in time for more rain. We also came home to a green pool that clearly had not been cleaned in the two weeks we were gone. Needless to say, I am now working to arrange for a company to come by and regularly maintain the pool. Such is life in the Yucatan.   School number two is in our rear view mirror now, after a miserable slog to close out the month. I don't think anyone will miss it. I know I won't miss it. The emails keep coming though, asking when we'll re-enroll our children, or emai...

The Mayapan ruins   Forty five minutes south of Merida, off of I-184 is the archaeological site of Mayapan. It is an easy site to visit, as the ground is pretty level and clear of debris. Like previous sites we've visited, there are more uncovered areas on the perimeter of the cleared and restored area. The big draw of the site is its main pyramid, the Temple of Kukulcan. The temple, and the other structures found at this site are generally considered inferior to those found at Chichen Itza. But, unlike Chichen Itza, this place has fewer crowds. So if you get there early (like we did), you will have the site to yourself.    Even if you show up later and a bus shows up (as one did near the end of our visit) it's not a real crisis. People will beeline to the main pyramid (pictured at the top of this post), so your view of carvings and the mural at the site will likely go unmolested as other tourists scramble to clamber up pyramids in order to get selfies or grou...

Pool (maintenance) season.  Last weekend was Easter, but here in the Yucatan, we are solidly in summertime temperatures. The kids have a two-week break from school, so the house is in a greater state of disarray as the children revert to their natural feral state . The kids, after an amazing tryout day/visit at one of the local montessori schools will be switching schools, again . Hopefully for the last time. The catch is, they start at the beginning of the new school year, and not sooner. So until then we wait, and the children stick it out the last two months before summer break. Everyone has been sick, which has put a hold on our pyramid-visiting plans. This is extra depressing because we now have our official license plates (bye bye paper tag!).   For those of you who are reading this, and don't know why this is so exciting, let me explain. When you finally get your car at post, you have to wait to drive it until you have it plated. Usually, this happens pretty f...

  Last weekend we visited the Oxkintok ruins, an archaeological zone near the town of Maxcanu which is a little more than an hour away from Merida. It is a less-visited site for a few reasons; it's in the hills, the site is not completely uncovered, and the two roads most frequently used to get there (after you exit the highway) each have their own problems. If you take the route we did (the clearly marked exit), you will be travelling on a winding, increasingly sketchy road up a hill that turns into gravel/rock for the last part leading to the site. The other route has you take a poorly marked exit off the highway, but is more direct, and maintained.   No matter what road you take, you will be rewarded with a site that is massive (even though it is not completely uncovered) and devoid of tour groups. This site has a number of pyramids to climb, and carved sculptural column figures. It is very apparent from the site that it really has not been completely unearthed. Be...

  Dzibichaltún is a tiny site, about 15 minutes from Merida. The two things people go there for are the small pyramid, and the friendly-for-everybody cenote on-site. There is also the ruin of a church from the sites second life as a colonial ranch (and you do have people visiting for that), but the bigger draws are the step pyramid and cenote. There are also many iguanas all over the place, and a gift shop/convenience store/tchotchke zone near the front entrance.   The day we went was a sunny, clear day. We left early to visit the ruins- mostly because you want to go early (anywhere) to avoid crowds in the Yucatan. We got to the site at about 9 in the morning, but there were already tour groups at the site. This is not surprising, because the site is also close to Progresso, where cruise ships berth when visiting this area of the Yucatan.   It's an easy site to walk, even with kids. You can climb on most of the ruins, save for the section with the actual i...

I write in the book every day. "I'm sorry that you write and you are always asking how your daughter is and I don't respond." I am listening to the words, nodding because this is how the transaction is supposed to go. "Your daughter." "Your daughter ran around the classroom." "Your daughter did not want to do her work." "Your daughter started taking down the display I had on my board." "Your daughter ran from me, around the room." "Your daughter climbed up onto the table and hit another child in the face." "It was an accident, and she apologized, and she felt bad, but she hit her." "I know she doesn't understand Spanish, but she needs to respect me." I nod, and listen as she continues to tell me how my child has failed, again, today. That's my job today, as the cars of other parents waiting for their children in the pick up line wait behind me. As my children wait so...

So we are well into our third month at post, and I admit my last in-depth entry sounded pretty horrible. It really felt that dire at the time. Three months in, life in the Yucatan is still a work in progress, but for right now it's more manageable? Or at least, the problems seem to have lessened in severity? A dramatic entrance!   Our Halloween party was small, but apparently a success. Since the house was so barren, we left everything up except for the inflatables (like the one above!) until our HHE arrived. Now, with the Halloween decorations down and most of our stuff in place, the house feels less like a horrible vacation rental and more like a home. We probably looked like weirdos to people stopping by the house with all the Halloween stuff hanging up after the holiday, but who cares.  Our first visitor came by this month- which was nice. Not a long visit, but it was good to have a visitor, doubly so that it was abuela (my mom) visiting. The kids were beyond excite...

  Despite my last post, I have a general idea of how I want to spend the next three years here, in the Americas. As we have awhile here, and language is really not much of an issue, the plan    is that we are going to visit every pyramid, archaeological site, cenote, and nature reserve or park we can. And tourist traps, because who doesn't like a cheesy tourist trap?   At least, that's my plan. If I have to drag everyone else along with me, so be it. I don't think i'll have to drag anyone along. When you sell the adventure to your kids by saying, "Lets visit beaches, pyramids, and jungles and have adventures!" it pretty much guarantees a yes response. And that's true to for my husband, for most of the places I'm looking to go. Other places require a little more planning...because i'm pretty sure some of these places are going to require a plane flight, and probably making arrangements to go with a tour group. Exciting!

 If you know me personally, or you have read any or all of my previous posts you have probably figured out that I am what most people would say (if they were being polite) a terribly pessimistic, and perhaps jaded individual. Even when i'm trying to look on the bright side, it's still a very salty viewpoint. That being said, despite this outlook I am often more than willing to deal with things that affect our day to day life, and in general work to get them resolved. Some things you just can't ever find a work around for (ie: staircase from hell in last house) but for the most part smaller hiccups (like a  horribly clogged sink, for example) can get resolved to everyone's satisfaction, even if it takes a bit of work. I get that. I also tend to get my hopes up high (despite all this) before we get to our new post, every time. Especially with this post, because reasons .  Now I suppose I could lie, and just pretend for the next three years in every entry about our l...